Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I know of some friends who seem to regret getting married because of whatever reasons. Maybe they felt pressured into getting married by their partner, peer pressure or by family. Maybe they just weren't ready. Maybe they weren't ready for the sacrifices and compromises that have to be made in married life. Perhaps once married, they felt married life too constricting. Each person has different reasons, so I'm not going to judge anyone here.
Well, I for one have never regretted getting married. I married a wonderful person and I have 2 wonderful children (with another on the way). Whatever else I had to sacrifice ("freedom", money, etc) I willingly did so knowing what I was getting myself into. Yeah, yeah, I complain now and then, but who doesn't?
For me, if you are not married and thinking about getting married, make sure it is to the right person and make sure you are both prepared for marriage and for all the compromises and sacrifices that have to be made. Make sure you also do it for the right reasons and not because you feel pressured to do so. Otherwise all you'll feel is resentment.
All I have to do is look at my kids and everything seems worth it. The proudest moments in my life were when my kids were born. When I go back home and my kids greet me, all the struggles at work seem worth it. When my wife smiles at me, I fall in love with her again. For me this is what life is for, to have a happy family. I just pray that my family continues to be happy and prosperous.
Of course, it is not always so simple, but as in everything else in life, marriage (and parenthood) needs to be continuously worked on. You can't just expect to be married or to have kids and then have everything miraculously fall into place without any effort at all.
Of course, I don't expect everyone else to feel the same way as I do about marriage. Marriage is perhaps not for everyone or perhaps some people prefer to achieve certain targets in life before settling down. To each his/her own.
Posted by Redza at 10:30 PM